Dang!
by Master Shorty 11
Summary: "Dang Yeager, your mom looks hot on ODM Gear," Levi states. Eren's worse nightmare happens all in a couple of minutes. Crack Fic.


_A/N: Don't ask… I myself don't know what goes on in my brain._

* * *

It was a random, _hot_ day on the training grounds, and Eren was starting to question his Captain's sanity. Training on one of the hottest days of year, was insane. And this is coming from the guy who would go kill a titan in a heartbeat.

It was a miracle that he got into the Scouts, but he got in for the wrong reasons. Not how he planned would happen. Hey, at least he got to see his idol face-to-face. Yet, seeing Levi face-to-face meant being kicked in the _face._

Wiping the sweat off his brow, Eren sighed. Being called Humanity's Hope was a lot harder than most thought. A lot of weight and pressure gets put on him. The title kind of resembles Captain Levi's, in which, Eren didn't know whether to be pleased or scared that the petite Captain would kick him again for their titles being so similar.

"Eren!" a sudden voice shouted, catching the brown haired boy off guard. His eyes widened at the sight of who the voice belonged to.

"Mom?!" he demanded.

Was that _his_ mom. Flying on ODM Gear?!

"Dang, Yeager," another voice starts, tone deep and full of passion. "Your mom looks hot on ODM Gear."

Eren spun around, sweat pouring down his face. There was Levi, eyes on _his_ mom, who was coming over with ODM Gear. How'd she get it in the first place?! This made _no_ sense! Why was she here? How did she get here? And why did the Captain have a strange look in his eyes?!

How? Why? When? What?

"Eren," Carla starts, her tone having a sense of authority. Oh lord.. please don't scold him in front of all the Scouts, and Levi. "Where is the man that kicked you?"

Eren stared, dumbfounded. He couldn't throw Captain Levi under the bus (what's a bus?)! He would be kicked in the face again. But, in desperate times, he feared his mom more than the petite Captain known as Humanity's Strongest Soldier. "Uh.. well…"

Yup, that little fear of the dark haired man was still going. Couldn't shake the fear of him...

"I did, ma'am," Levi finally said, taking a step forward to face the woman, a warm smile on her face, and _his._ "I kicked your son- and, I see you're skilled with 3D Maneuver Equipment."

Carla smiled, forgetting all that the man said, just remembering the compliment. "Well yes. Are you Captain Levi?" she asked with a raised eyebrow, her brown eyes shimmering in the hot sunlight, somehow, she wasn't sweating.

Right, girls 'glisten'. Pfft.

"Yes, I am. And I am ready to mingle."

Eren gaped at the statement that the dark haired man just said. Oh good lord.. please. No! This _has_ to be a dream! It can't be true. '_Mom… please don't respond…'_ he thought, mentally praying; hands clasped together.

Carla giggled, and Eren felt like a wilted flower. "Oh, my husband just died… and, I am single at the moment…" she says, trailing off.

Eren wanted to die.

"Mom," he starts, desperation filling his voice. "Don't-"

"We will be planning a wedding," Levi and Carla both exclaim at the same time. Eren didn't remember what else happened because…

...he fainted.

* * *

Eren wakes up screaming, eyes wide as he tore through the sheets. He ripped at the bandage on his head as he scrambled out of the bed, getting entangled in the sheets, winding up falling on the floor with a low grunt. "Mikasa!" he yells, seeing her come rushing in. "Is mom alive?" He tried to hide the desperation laced in his voice, but couldn't.

Her startled expression told him that he failed miserably.

A tight frown formed on the dark haired girl's face as a look of worry came across her delicate, pale features. "No… Eren, did you hit your head?"

A look of relief was on the brown haired boy's face as he got up, dusting any offending dirt off his pants. "And the Captain?"

"He's fine…"

"It was just a dream-"

"Yo, Yeager," a voice calls out, Levi walking in. A look of boredom and stoicism was on his face that none other than Humanity's Strongest Soldier could carry, and make it look awesome. "The Ackerman brat was telling me about your mom." Here, a smirk formed on his face as he saw the look of horror on Eren's face. "Must I say… she is _hot_."

Eren didn't know what else happened as everything became black for him. All he could hear was Mikasa's startled "_Eren!"_, and Levi's chuckle. The thought didn't come to his mind about how Levi saw his mother. All he heard was 'she is hot'.

Eren fainted. No way was his mom _ever_ going to wind up with the Captain. That very thought scared him more than the titans. More than pills, and more than death and mice.

* * *

_A/N: The pills thing is a reference from one of my stories called "Shove it Down Your Throat". _


End file.
